UK parents who want to charge their son, 21, rent if he moves back home spark furious debate

A United Kingdom-based parent has sparked a fierce debate online after asking people what is a reasonable amount to charge a grown-up kid for rent.

The parent took to Reddit to explain that their 21-year-old son wants to move back into the family home so that he can save up to buy his own house.

The man said he is happy to have his son move in, but having him at home will increase their cost of living, so he and his mother are considering charging him to cover those expenses.

The post read: ‘For context, we own our own home with a small mortgage. Our eldest son (21) wants to live with us to build up a house deposit.

‘We’re happy to have him, but he isn’t free and we need to be careful with money as (we are) approaching retirement. Don’t want to profit from him, and want to help, but the cost of everything is going up so high…’

Thousands of responses followed with commenters taking opposing positions.

Some asked the couple not to treat their son like a ‘lodger’ and allow him to live free because it is part of their duty as parents to take care of him at any age.

Others argued that it is ‘entitled’ for adult children not to pay their way.

For many posters, the thought of charging their children rent was completely unreasonable, with one branding parents who do so ‘misers’. A poster pointed out that the children did not ask to be born and therefore should be catered for.

A commenter wrote: ‘£0, he’s your son, not a lodger, make him pay his own food, clothing, chip in towards a % of heating and electric, you’re instantly £100-200 better off a month by him paying his way. Charging him rent just prolongs how long it takes him to save a deposit.’

A further poster agreed, writing: ‘Yeah I do find it weird when parents ask children to help cover rent/mortgage. Like you say, I understand bills and food, but that’s never normally a lot for one additional person unless he’s putting the heating on 24/7 and having a bath every day.’

And one commentator had strong feelings on the topic, saying: ‘Zero. They’re your freaking kids! If you can’t even show generosity to them what kind of penny-pinching miser are you?’

Another wrote: ‘Personally I won’t be charging my children to live at my property as it doesn’t have any value, at least in my experience.’

Some commentators suggested that not paying rent is ‘entitled’, and that grown-up offspring should contribute to the running of the household

One wrote: ‘A 21-year-old should totally be contributing with rent & bills. If the parents are enough well off for it to be, put it into a savings account for them for the future. At that age you are an adult and need to be learning budget skills etc.

‘I have been in the same position and gladly paid rent, also all of my friends did the same. I think it would be very disrespectful to your parents to do otherwise.’

Another one said: ‘He’s living in the house so he absolutely should pay towards housing costs. 21 is an adult and by the sounds of it he has a job. If he was moving in with a friend who pays a mortgage he would be expected to pay rent.’

Yet another wrote: ‘I don’t like this entitlement, as with age comes responsibility and just because it’s his parents’ house doesn’t mean that it should be free especially with the rising cost of gas and heating.’

Some stated that they had been in a similar position and they paid their parents monthly, even though the money was later returned to them as a gift.

One of them said: ‘My mum charged £200 a month when I lived at home, she would then put £100 of that to a savings account I didn’t know about, so when it came to looking for my own place, I had some extra cash I never knew about.’

A second in that boat wrote: ‘My mum did that too. My partner and I lived at her house while saving for our own place, she charged £650/month for us both to stay but saved it secretly and gifted the saved amount to us when we came to put down a deposit.’

A third person with the same experience wrote: ‘Mine did exactly the same when I was young but put all of it away. I was only there for about 6 months after uni but that extra bit helped me buy some furniture for my flat and stuff so was really grateful.’