‘The social isolation was killing me,’ says woman who relocated back to Nigeria from UK

A Nigerian mother-of-three, Nkemdilim Melissa Okani, who relocated from the United Kingdom back to Nigeria has shared a candid account of why she made the life-changing decision, saying her mental well-being and lack of support abroad pushed her to return home.

In a Facebook post, the woman explained that life in the UK had left her emotionally drained and overwhelmed.

Okani shared a photo taken days before her departure, showing herself looking visibly stressed, and described how the constant pressure had taken a toll on her mental health.

According to her, she felt sad, anxious, and persistently exhausted. Everyday routines felt burdensome, and nothing brought her joy. She said her children were also unhappy, and the family struggled to cope with the isolation that came with living abroad.

She revealed that she reached out to the NHS crisis team for help but was placed on a waiting list, leaving her without immediate support. Matters worsened when her neighbours allegedly filed frequent complaints against her, adding fear and anxiety to an already difficult situation.

NKemdilim Melissa Okani wrote, “I was burnt out. I was living on autopilot, going through the motions but truly struggling inside. My kids were unhappy, and every day felt heavier than the last. I needed to breathe.”

At the time, she had been planning a move to Canada but said her emotional state made her realise that migrating again was not the right choice. Instead, she chose to return to Nigeria, where she felt she could access the support system she desperately needed.

“I left behind what many would call security, but I refused to let my life and my children’s lives be defined by unhappiness. Coming back home was not a failure—it was a step toward healing,” she wrote.

In follow-up posts, Okani lamented that child care was a struggle for her because it was expensive and inadequate for her needs as a mother with young children, who also worked.

She lamented that her situation was complicated by neighbours who regularly reported her to the authorities for situations she had no control over.

Okani said all these compounded her misery, especially with no support system in the foreign land.

She said her decision to come back to Nigeria has restored her peace. She reported feeling mentally stronger, happier, and relieved to find that she has to live under the weight of debt, which had also contributed to her stress in the UK.

She described Nigeria as the place where she found the stability and emotional support her family needed, adding that returning home has helped her reclaim joy and a sense of normalcy.

Okani wrote that she now has a nanny, lesson teachers for her children, a driver and constant electricity.

She also clarified that she has a husband who cared deeply about his family, but she deliberately kept him out of her writings because she would not love to bear anyone insulting him online.

Okani said her husband supported her decision to relocate back to Nigeria and provided all the comfort they needed as a family.

She said she would not rule out returning to the West someday, but for now, she is very happy to be home.

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