A Nigerian woman, Taiwo Ajayi, has called out her husband, Pastor Joseph Okpongete, of the House on the Rock Church, Lagos, accusing him of domestic violence, threat to life, and financial abuse.
The relationship coach narrated her ordeals in the hands of her husband in a four-part post, titled: “A CRY FOR HELP” published on her social media accounts.
According to Taiwo, the physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse began on their honeymoon and continued even when she was pregnant with their first child.
Taiwo, who has been separated from Okongete for four years, begged Nigerians, church leaders to come to her aid as he is threatening to deal with her because she filed for divorce and refused to go back to him.
She also accused him of ruining her successful career as an award winning Recruiter, and sleeping with other women, including their housemaids.
Read her story below:
“A CRY FOR HELP! – Part 1 Fellow Nigerians, my name is Taiwo Ajayi. I have been separated from (my) ex-husband for the past 4 years. I was married for 12 horrible years to Joseph Okpongete.
For those 12 years I suffered greatly under his roof, subjected to domestic violence in its most horrific forms. I faced physical, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse.
We are both Born Again Christians and Ordained Ministers at the House On The Rock Church, Lagos. I appeal to the Christian Body in Nigeria, to please call one of their Ministers to order. I don’t want to become another statistics of a Christian woman who died from domestic violence.
This case has been reported last year to the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA) where Joseph Okpongete was invited to and he confessed twice to having beaten me, and this was recorded. It was also reported to the Nigerian Police Force.
I was brutally raped on our honeymoon in Cairo, Egypt, as a virgin. I was beaten up when I was 5 months pregnant with our daughter, I was called fat, useless and ugly by this man I had married, even though he married me as a beautiful size 12. I was beaten up severally, beaten while holding a new baby boy, having my head bashed into the wall which landed me in the hospital. I have faced several hospital visits and admissions due to the abuse. I suffered terrible silent treatments, was humiliated severally publicly and privately, was cheated on by the husband with other women, and I would discover he was sleeping with the housemaids, who I would have to chase away from the house.
My successful career as an award winning Recruiter has been threatened and almost destroyed, even when I had worked within the Oil E & P industry in Nigeria and worked with multinationals within Corporate Canada in the finance industry. Because of the stress he was giving me, i lost my job with a multinational last year which was fetching me the equivalent of N55million, I was being paid in Canadian Dollars, and it was 100 percent remote. My hard earned resources and all that I have worked for, for the past 16 years was stripped away from me.
Due to the abuse I was suffering in the hands of Joseph Okpongete, I relocated to Canada with my children in 2016 to distance myself from this man, and to give my children and I peace. He would come to Canada and ask the landlord to evict us from the property that I rented with my own money, and we would be suddenly rendered homeless and have no choice than to return to his house in Nigeria. Due to the stress I was receiving on the home front, I would have burnouts on my jobs in Canada and have to resign, leaving me with little or no income. When the abuse became too much, I had to call the Canadian Police in Mississauga, ON who came to warn him at the house that if he continued this way, he would be arrested. This made him step back a bit.
I returned to Lagos 2 months ago because I prefer being at home in Lagos, the climate works better for me. I have received threats from him about what he will do to me. He has also refused to pay child support, take care of the kids nor pay their school fees. I have been running from this man for the past 4 years and my country people I am tired, hence why I am crying out today for someone to please help me ask this man to leave me alone. He has insisted in a forceful manner that I return to his house.
2 weeks ago his Auntie called me, commanding me to return to his house, to which I politely but firmly refused. She told me that if I divorce him that I will not make heaven, that I will go to hell. Thank God the sacrifice that Jesus paid on the cross is all I need to make heaven and not my marriage to this Shylock. He is owing me $250,000 CAD as initial relocation expenses to Canada, draining my resources, up to his plane ticket into Canada I had to pay for it. Who was the husband and who was the wife, please somebody tell me?
2 days ago, he called to speak to the children and I do not keep him from speaking to them nor from contacting them. He said all manner of things and gave all manner of threats, he has also been playing delayed tactics with the divorce process in court. Knowing I am from a comfortable background, this man manipulated his way into my life and manipulated me into marrying him, because of what he will eat. I was young and naive. Immediately I entered the marriage, I realized I had been deceived and it was very hard to come out.
He called 2 days ago to tell our 14 year old daughter that he is planning something against me, issuing threats, I do not know what he is planning, and sincerely I am not ready to find out. Last year he asked the police in Lagos to arrest me and lock me up for leaving him, only God delivered me. I had to run for my life back to Canada. Please fellow Nigerians, help me to ask Joseph Okpongete to please leave me alone. It is not by force to be married to him. It not by force for me to return to his house. I have moved on, please help me beg him to move on.
Two pictures earlier attached reflect my physical state after being psychologically abused for so long, and also landing in the hospital when Joseph refused to drop his passport to the Canadian High Commission in Ghana for us to collect our Canadian Permanent Resident Visa. I had paid $8000 USD for the application process, the visas had come through which was a thing of joy for me, but Joseph wanted us to lose the visas, just to hurt me. He waited till the last week before the deadline to submit his passport to the Embassy. All my pleas fell on deaf ears.
I landed in Reddington Hospital at 1:00am in the middle of the night when I could not breathe. I was about to lose the opportunity of a life time. I have a Doctor’s report to substantiate this event, detailing the psychosomatic stresses he had put me through. He eventually dropped his passport 3 days before the deadline given by the Canadian Embassy, after family members pleaded with him.
I fainted in my son’s school the following week due to the stress he was giving me, teachers and the school principal including my driver poured 5 bottles of water on my head to revive me and I was admitted for 3 days again at Reddington Hospital, Ikeja.
Egba mi Ejo, mo beyin ni o! Anyone who knows him should please ask Joseph Okpongete to LEAVE ME ALONE!
Marriage to an abuser and to a Narcissist is not by force. My life is being threatened”
