Effeminate male chef shares encounter with Lagos louts who attacked him for walking like woman

An effeminate Nigerian chef, Havilah Bekee, has shared an experience of harassment in Lagos after being attacked for his female mannerisms.

According to Bekee, the incident occurred on Saturday, June 21, while he was delivering food with his sister and a staff member.

Two men began mocking him for “walking like a woman” and escalated the situation with threats.

One of the attackers reportedly broke a bottle and attempted to use it against him but missed.

Bekee instructed his sister and colleague to flee while he confronted the assailants.

He shouted “ole, ole” (meaning “thief” in Yoruba), which drew the attention of passersby.

The crowd intervened—one attacker escaped while the other was apprehended and beaten.

Bekee revealed that he frequently faces such abuse in Nigeria, including from law enforcement, simply for expressing his identity. He stressed the resilience required to live as a minority, stating, “You must be strong physically, spiritually, financially, and verbally.”

Read his full post below:

“As an Effeminate man living in Nigeria, you have to be strong in all spheres,  spiritually, financially, physically and verbally anyone of them can save you when the need arises.

The police, uneducated masses, educated phools and ne’er-do-wells will try much as they can to profile, intimidate and victimize you.

My only crime is that I’m created in a unique way and I live in a society that breeds breeds malefactors and villains.

I have been unlawfully harrasesed and exploited by police men, military men and in most recent cases, the masses.

Those who knows me well, will tell so much about my easy going and calm persona, until you step on my toes. If you come for me, I’ll come for you and I’ll make sure that I bring you down with everything in me without minding whose ox is being gored in the process, it’s definitely not going to be mine. Ask around.

I was going to deliver the food that I made for a Customer with my sister and my new staff. Not knowing that trouble lies ahead, However, God knows about the earthly troubles we will undergo in our day to day activities and he assured us of a swift deliverance in all of them.

Gisting while minding where we were going when all of a sudden I heard ” You dey waka like woman, E-deot, b0mb dey your head abi?.

I didn’t focus my gaze on the direction of the voice but my ears and mind were definitely paying attention to what is being said.

We kept going and the voice was still coming closer, this time he said ” you wan make I burst burst your nyash, why you go dey do like woman” you dey look for who go F you”.

I turned and it was a lout, they were two.

I hurriedly put my phone and bag inside the bag my staff was carrying.  They approached us and the one talking said ” you even wear woman glasses.

Before I could say Jack, he sl4pped me.

I returned the sl4p immediately and that was it it. The other one broke something that looks like a glass while I was F.yting with the other one.

I blurted out to my sisters to run with our things.

The other guy threw what he had with him  and he missed target.

I raised alarm by shouting ” Ole!  Ole! Ole!” The labourers in the nearby buildings rushed out.

The other guy ran away while I held the main guy tightly.

I never knew that my sisters went to call people around.

I was still shouting and holding him, he was struggling to get loose of my grip, I made sure I didn’t allow him.

Without asking questions, the aboki labourers gathered and started hitting him with sticks while I let go of my grip on him.

Oh! They won’t forget this in a hurry. He was b34t3n black and blue.

I had no pity on him, as blood was gushing, I felt proud and fulfilled.

As today is Saturday, that route is usually dry cos Igbo traders rarely open on Saturdays.

His saving grace was some men driving by, they came to his aid.

I told them that the guy tried to rob me with his friend and the Hausa guys seconded cos according to them, they saw from Afar what was happening.

He was wounded badly, blood was coming out from his nostrils, I was fulfilled and happy.

Next time, he wouldn’t dare be a nuisance and a mischief.

This is what living in Nigeria as an effeminate man, is. Everyday of one’s life, you’re faced with ridicule, trolling, vitriolic behaviors and unlawful harrassment.

The police is not your friend, online people aren’t either, neither do offline people.

Effeminate people are being profiled and maimed at every slightest chance.

This has happened to me in three different occasions.

When I shared the first experience I had. One steewpeed boy on this space went to his wall to tag his uzless existence a liar.

The second time, it was between me and police men, it wasn’t a beautiful experience.

This today, is the third time.

Effeminate men are not the problem in Nigeria, why do you want to harm us?.

If that guy finishes nursing his wound, he will pray not to encounter this day in a lifetime.

One thing is certain, I appear soft but no one can bully or intimidate me and go Scot free, I will f.yt you with the last drop of my blood.

I only bled in my cheeks, my shoulder hurts badly and the scratch on the outer eyelid.

He lost a whole lot of blood and he will nurse his wounds and bruises for at least, one month.

IAMGOLD

BEKEE”